Some words aren’t meant to fix anything — they’re meant to stand beside someone’s grief for a moment.
This is a poem spoken across old wounds, offered without expectation, without defense, without the need to be forgiven.
Just a man recognizing another man’s loss, because pain doesn’t care who we used to be to each other.
Please don’t hear these words from the person you loath,
Pretend it's a stranger you've yet to know.
A stranger that senses the time to speak.
A stranger that today you have never had to meet.
Condolences you received over the last few days,
Probably seems no one knows what to say.
The intentions were pure and the words all true,
But these words here travel from me to you.
Sixteen years ago, I lost someone that hurt like hell.
Someone that today, I know I have failed.
She raised me when my mother couldn’t.
She whooped my ass when everyone else wouldn’t.
Her love and hardness came with a plan,
Conditioning a child to become a man.
Her name was Eleanor Rose.
Those who knew her already know.
She tried her best to whip me in shape,
Thank her for the humanity I now demonstrate.
Bad blood and memories give no reason to call,
That doesn’t mean I’d watch your faith fall.
I still hold some values she was lucky to instill.
I can empathize with the loss that you feel.
I will not pretend you view me as a friend.
And I'm not naïve enough to think nice words will cause that to end.
Do understand my thoughts in rhyme run free.
Just as you do when you're chopping trees.
And your personal feelings of who you think I am,
Do not stop me from giving an actual dam.
Before life went south and I reserved my throne in hell,
I enjoyed your company a few times and remember them well.
In 2015 i brought a can of beer,
I sat in that living room trying to hide all my fear.
Never had I sat with a father alone,
Waiting for his daughter to come home.
I never won your heart, and I'm not surprised.
You knew before me that I was not a great guy.
Still, you reached out and offered a few beers
Always aware, I'd confirm your worst fear.
But that was ok because as I lied to myself about who I could become,
Your love for your daughter would allow you to make me feel smart when I am dumb.
I'm getting off track because I know there are walls.
I didn’t come to remind you of my fall.
I came to say I'm sorry that you are in pain,
I came to say I know the weight of the chain.
I know a loss that’s impossible to take,
Gives the mind many reasons to break.
I may not have the right to say any of this to you,
But I said it today because I sat in that pew.
Rose was more than a grandmother and I miss her still,
Still, sometimes in my heart it hurts when her memory I feel.
I could have easily not said a word.
I'm not allowed in your world, so I know this is absurd.
But I don’t share the disdain for you that you have for me,
So maybe these words will make it easier to see.
Sometimes those we least expect,
Will spend the time and effort to give due respect.
I will not insult you by asking forgiveness,
And I will not try to impede your personal business.
I do pray for your clarity and peace.
I say this from a distance, so I can keep my teeth.
You’re a tough man and special beyond any world you can see,
Intelligent, funny, and glue holding a large family.
That's a lot of pressure and not easy to remember,
On days your fire wants to only be an ember.
I hope that you see why it's important you hear,
God has the wheel right now and you trust him to steer.
I'm going to come to an end, because I know this long.
Though, I’ve never been told that spending time is wrong.
And since I can't share a beer and give you that time,
I've spent that time putting thoughts in a rhyme.
You made enough of a positive impression in my life,
That I truly hope some of these words help ease your strife.
I also hope instead of nonsense, the lord allows you to see,
Sometimes the most powerful words come from the heart of an enemy.